Coping
“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
Ah I can not forget her. I know I can not get over her, but I will learn to cope that she can not be mine. I thought I’ll just go back and recount all the things that happened, work them through in my mind after I have written about the situations. It won’t change anything, but maybe it’ll help me. Luckily no one reads my tumblr..
It was the 2nd Monday in the month of September, last year. I broke up with my girlfriend before going to Portugal, our relationship, if you can call it that, was rocky anyway and I felt that we were drifting apart. Let me elaborate.
In the summer of 2006 I encountered a young girl, sweet 16 at the time and I was a mere 18 years old. She wrote me on ICQ and asked “oi td bem?” in a language I did not understand. I simply answered “oi?” and that is how my first relationship started. Literally, we spoke the entire night and she told me that night that she loved me already after seeing one picture of me and I must say I was enticed as well after seeing a picture of her in a bikini.. She got me wrapped around her finger in no time. We spoke for days on end and since I was(am) a computer nerd I ended up talking to her whenever she got online. The first girl that was ever interested in me! I fell harder for her than a rock. I clung onto her like some kind of spider monkey and thought to myself “No girl will ever love me again, I must hold on to her”.
How foolish of me, but I was young and very desperate. So desperate I even took the risk of engaging in a long-distance relationship relationship with a 16 year old girl from Brazil. A big mistake, not only for the reason of a long-distance relationship, but also the fact that I fell “in love” with her looks, rather than her personality. Good thing was I ended up learning Portuguese in the 5 years I knew her as well as visit an exotic and beautiful country 8 times.
I digress, I went to Portugal on ERASMUS studies, to Lisbon to be exact. A beautiful city, my favourite city. I’ve fallen in love with it, as well as it’s inhabitants.
Anyway, I broke up with my girlfriend upon arrival. I thought it would be easier farther away from my family that always got their hands in my relationship business, despite their hands having nothing to do in those matters. I arrived on the 3rd of September and occupied my mind with seeing Lisbon, rather than worrying about the relationship that was in ruins long time ago. We had a nice introduction dinner and sightseeing with people from the university. It was organied nicely. I enjoyed it.
Monday was the day of our first classes. Our first class was Entrepreneurship. At first the professor was very strict and he made all of us afraid of a hard class that would be barely passable. Me and my roommate, from the same university as well, decided that we made a bad choice, this choice was only to be topped off by Operations Management in the afternoon. Afterwards International Marketing with some fancy professor who studied in Harvard as well. Turns out he is really full of himself.
Operations Management was the course where I saw her the first time. Me and my roommate were the first, like good Germans. We went to the far back right of the class, like lazy Germans. The class was mainly Portuguese students, but there was also a Pole, a Russian, one French girl, one British girl and a Dutch guy that looked and spoke like an Australian. I didn’t really take notice of her at first, but naturally all the Portuguese students would oogle all the foreigners. I somehow manage to be more outgoing when I speak in English than in German or Portuguese and everyone knew my name from the beginning of the first class.
I’d find hers out soon enough.
